The Official ShaSp Blog: MY BITCH'S BLOG

Hey followers, this is Pepper. That's right....Pep. The dog. The bitch. Didn't think a dog could be Mac-fluent? Well command+shift+4 this blog cause your eyes ain't lyin!

Today I OWN this blog.

So you've heard? Yup. I'm moving to Chicago. The city of the wind. I've already packed up my rubber shoe, the chicken, yellow ball, and I'm waiting for Tula to get out of my bed so I can pack that up too.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I love living here with my friends Remy, Tula and Gary, but this heat is ridiculous. You walk around wearing a coat of fur and then only sweat from your tongue and see how well that cools you off! In Colorado and California I was fit!!! I mean, the muscle tone in my legs was to die for. We'd go to the dog park almost daily. I'd roll around in dead squirrel carcasses and the poop from other dogs and it was heavenly. And so many rears to sniff. OH those were the days. Since living in Florida I've put on some girth. There's no Lane Bryant canine equivalent, so I gotta work this stuff off. And the black and white spots don't hide a THING.

I kinda knew the move was coming. fewr'D SDFGLIJ SDFLKJ...DAMMIT. I'm all paws, sorry.
Anyway, I knew it was coming. Last week mom left me for 2 days so she could visit Chicago and get a job. I bet she stuck her tongue out on the plane. Oh and I saw this book on the bed titled "A Dog Lover's Companion To Chicago." And I have to say, I like what I saw. I pawed through the pages while mom slept one night. Grant Park. Nice. Dog bakeries. Always good. And Montrose Beach. Bring it!

HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!?

Sorry, I'm back.

One night I saw mom looking at some YouTube videos of the dog beaches in Chicago. I saw her dog-ear the site...or what you call "bookmark" and I got on later to see it again. Yes, a dog into social media. Get used to it. Anyway.....NICE! These mid-western dogs have got it made. I saw some Great Danes..I likes me some Great Dane. A beach just for dogs...white sandy beach...clean freshwater lake.....all on the shores of the city? Yeah, sign me up. All tails point north!!!!

It'll be ANOTHER long trip in the car, but who cares, I'm the dog. Mom props up blankets and makes the ride all cushy. So, gas it up and open my window. I feel a tongue hanging out in my near future. I love road trips. It all started in Colorado when I met my mom. From there we moved to California and then Michigan and then Florida and then back to Michigan and then back to Florida and now back up north to Chicago. Granted, I slept on all the trips but I can say I've relieved myself in about half of these American states. Jealous? You should be.

Chicago will be fun. And mom always thinks of me first when it comes to places to live and things to do so I got that going for me. Yeah, my life doesn't suck, that's for sure. Just not sure who will keep Tula's head and ears clean after I leave.

Well, before I hit the road again, a few words for my friends.

Gary: The scheme sounds great and totally diabolical. Sure, everyone thinks you're the quiet one, but our late nights in the laundry room with the flashlight going over your plans have convinced me otherwise. You'll have no problem taking over the house and then the world. Keep the dream alive.

Remy: You're a spaz.

Tula: I KNOW you took my pink bandana and hit it under your bed. I expect it to be placed on my luggage the day I leave. No questions asked.

Well, time to get back to it. Sure won't miss those early morning wake-up calls from a little annoying dachshund/lab....you know who you are.