BLOG READER WARNING: The following entry does not include the writer’s usual comedic and sarcastic stylings. However, she invites you to read this piece that mirrors her more observational and introspective mood. She gets that this is mostly for her but hopefully you get something out of it as well. The waters get deep…you’ve been warned.
What the hell are we doing?
I am angry. At people. At us. I’m quite aware of that reflection, let’s be clear. How sad that just about everywhere I go I am constantly disappointed. On a daily basis. On a minute-by-minute basis. Let’s be honest, most of the people around us choose to live a life that does not at ALL live up to their potential. Robots of routine. Sinners of safe. Perpetuators of placidity.
Sure, this entry comes from a place inside of me that is unhappy with my current situation but also from a need to really stir things up. There’s a part of me that has a need to do something spectacular. Not on a selfish level but on a more community/global level. It’s not about fame or fortune or any of that. It’s about living up to MY potential.
But that’s the word – potential.
We are afraid of our own potential. We're afraid of what we could possibly DO because doing it is hard. But nothing worth doing comes easy. I read a fantastic book by Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Melon Professor who succumbed to pancreatic cancer last year. His book is titled, ‘The Last Lecture” and has become one of the most successful books in recent years. Mr. Pausch talks about living your best life and pursuing your childhood dreams and the book is nothing less than inspiring. But there is one quote from that book that has had a profound affect on me. “Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre.”
SMACK! That’s what reading that line felt like…a smack across my face. It wasn’t my wake up call, but instead, it defined what I had always been thinking. I now saw it in black ink and it was like someone read my thoughts. In fact, I think I exclaimed out loud, “UH, THANK YOU!”
I think that if you don’t go for it every day of your life, you are losing. You are giving up something great. When is the last time you changed your routine? When is the last time you DIDN’T change your routine because it was comfortable or easy or SAFE? When is the last time you challenged or encouraged your children to go away from the norm? When is the last time you did something because it WAS scary? When is the last time you stopped yourself and talked yourself out of something BECAUSE it was scary?
Let me talk about inspiration. When I'm inspired I'm moved to do something. Right now, a place is what inspires me. My local coffee shop. Not the Starbucks kind you find on every corner, but this one particular coffee shop I go to by my Alma mater. I get a thrill each day knowing I’m going there. Sure, there are the posers that every coffee shop has…but this place has proven to be otherwise. And I drink it up. There are professors chatting with other professors. There are students holding group discussions. There are intellectuals reviewing a new book. There are activists preparing for a meeting. The place is full of energy. It’s full of people with a lifelong thirst to learn, grow and be their best.
Here’s an example. Each time I come in, I try to sit in a different spot. This one particular day, I was sitting in one of the prime spots that had a great view and a nearby electrical outlet. It also happened to be near the bulletin board. As the hours went by, I noticed patron after patron perusing the postings. Now, I don’t know about you, but in most restaurants and cafes, I don’t see the bulletin board getting much attention. You certainly don’t see a bevy of people hovering. Well, here it’s different. Because people are INTERESTING! They look to see what inspires them or with whom they can connect. And that, alone, was inspiring to me.
I am 37. And I will be 37 once in my life. Each year is a blessing and an opportunity to grow and live and evolve. I haven’t yet done my life’s work, but I have done many things in my life that I’m damn proud of. And those things I’m most proud of happened when I was afraid. That fear drove me to do it even more; because it was obvious something on the other side was waiting. The times I've relocated to a new city. When I trained for a triathlon. When I auditioned for a Broadway show last minute. When I jumped off a 150-foot platform with only a bungee cord tied to my waist. When I didn't drop out of college when it got too hard. When I approached intimidating successful people and begged for an interview. Sometimes I got what I wanted. Sometimes I didn't. In fact, I'm sure I didn't get what I wanted more than when I did.
But the point is this...even if I didn’t succeed, I didn’t fail. It takes tremendous courage to go there and to live up to your potential…but not trying is much more of a failure to me. And I plan on not succeeding at a whole bunch of things in my years to come.
So, what are you afraid of? Whatever it is, most likely it reflects something you really want.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
An oldie for some. But, maybe new to you.
Most advertising sucks. (And that’s being generous)
There’s a four-letter word for most of these ads out there. SAFE. Yes, that's right, I just swore.
A safe ad is a bad ad. In fact, a safe ad isn’t an ad. It’s a waste of space. It’s an assault on every consumer’s intelligence. More importantly, it’s a waste of money. Vowels and consonants are utterly embarrassed to be in these kinds of ads. (I’m a writer, so we’re close. They tell me these things).
A good ad persuades you to read it again. Maybe even more than once. It should speak to you. No, it should SHOUT at you! And when you like it so much you might want to make copies of that ad and build a paper suit out of it and tell everyone you see, “HEY! Look at this ad! I’m wearing this ad as a paper suit! That’s how good it is!!!!”
What’s behind a great ad? A brand. A story. I believe in brands. I believe in Tide. Starbucks. Target. Saturn. Disney. I love brands. I am a brand fan. If they made brand fan sponge fingers, I’d duct tape that sucker to my hand and wave it around like I just don't care.
There’s a story behind every product and an audience ready and willing to drop some cash. Show me a brand and I’ll make people love it. And it won’t be safe. Cause safe sucks. And we should all want to wear paper suits.
There’s a four-letter word for most of these ads out there. SAFE. Yes, that's right, I just swore.
A safe ad is a bad ad. In fact, a safe ad isn’t an ad. It’s a waste of space. It’s an assault on every consumer’s intelligence. More importantly, it’s a waste of money. Vowels and consonants are utterly embarrassed to be in these kinds of ads. (I’m a writer, so we’re close. They tell me these things).
A good ad persuades you to read it again. Maybe even more than once. It should speak to you. No, it should SHOUT at you! And when you like it so much you might want to make copies of that ad and build a paper suit out of it and tell everyone you see, “HEY! Look at this ad! I’m wearing this ad as a paper suit! That’s how good it is!!!!”
What’s behind a great ad? A brand. A story. I believe in brands. I believe in Tide. Starbucks. Target. Saturn. Disney. I love brands. I am a brand fan. If they made brand fan sponge fingers, I’d duct tape that sucker to my hand and wave it around like I just don't care.
There’s a story behind every product and an audience ready and willing to drop some cash. Show me a brand and I’ll make people love it. And it won’t be safe. Cause safe sucks. And we should all want to wear paper suits.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Signs Are Important
There you are in a public restroom. I don’t mean this in a Pee Wee Herman unfortunate way, (or fortunate, depending on your personal kicks)….I digress. So, you find yourself in a public restroom, and there it is. In every one. It contains nine dumb-founding words. You can't miss it. And mostly likely, it's not even there for you. But you see it every time. Sometimes it's by the sink. Sometimes it’s by the exit. Sometimes it’s by the hand towels.
The sign.
“Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning To Work.”
I have three problems with this sign.
1. PLACEMENT.
Why isn’t it IN the stall when said employee is doing his or her business and is considering whether or not they will wash their hands today? Why is the sign on the way OUT when the decision has already been made? Of course they’re gonna be like, “Yeah, no thanks. Already made up my mind. Should have told me sooner.” You need to get them much earlier in the decision making process. Those in the stall are what we call in the advertising biz, a “captive audience.” So captivate them with the reasons why they should wash their hands. Even if walking around with pee pee stinky hands isn’t enough of a reason.
2. TARGET AUDIENCE.
What about the rest of us? Oh, so employees have to wash their hands, but not the rest of us? Because, fecal matter that ends up on salt shakers or table tops is OK?
3. MUST?
The use of this word is just hilarious. “Oh, it says must, so I better.” We all know that when someone tells us we have to do something, but no one is there to reinforce that “must,” that it’s not gonna happen. A sign is not going to make this happen people. Especially when you work there. Most employees on their break are already sick of the place and its rules, so yeah, washing hands when TOLD to is most likely not going to be a priority. “I’m gonna go out with my hands like THIS…THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM!” Why not have a sign that reads, “If you work here, wash your damn hands…and if you don’t, we’ll know…how? We just will. Promise you this. So do it!” Any employee will be wondering HOW they’ll know and the hassle of trying to get around the system won’t be worth it so they’ll just do it.
So restroom sign makers, please change your verbiage and sign placement. And remember, patrons also have pee pee stinky hands.
Bet you can’t wait to use that silverware on the table now, huh?
The sign.
“Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning To Work.”
I have three problems with this sign.
1. PLACEMENT.
Why isn’t it IN the stall when said employee is doing his or her business and is considering whether or not they will wash their hands today? Why is the sign on the way OUT when the decision has already been made? Of course they’re gonna be like, “Yeah, no thanks. Already made up my mind. Should have told me sooner.” You need to get them much earlier in the decision making process. Those in the stall are what we call in the advertising biz, a “captive audience.” So captivate them with the reasons why they should wash their hands. Even if walking around with pee pee stinky hands isn’t enough of a reason.
2. TARGET AUDIENCE.
What about the rest of us? Oh, so employees have to wash their hands, but not the rest of us? Because, fecal matter that ends up on salt shakers or table tops is OK?
3. MUST?
The use of this word is just hilarious. “Oh, it says must, so I better.” We all know that when someone tells us we have to do something, but no one is there to reinforce that “must,” that it’s not gonna happen. A sign is not going to make this happen people. Especially when you work there. Most employees on their break are already sick of the place and its rules, so yeah, washing hands when TOLD to is most likely not going to be a priority. “I’m gonna go out with my hands like THIS…THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM!” Why not have a sign that reads, “If you work here, wash your damn hands…and if you don’t, we’ll know…how? We just will. Promise you this. So do it!” Any employee will be wondering HOW they’ll know and the hassle of trying to get around the system won’t be worth it so they’ll just do it.
So restroom sign makers, please change your verbiage and sign placement. And remember, patrons also have pee pee stinky hands.
Bet you can’t wait to use that silverware on the table now, huh?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Pirates don't change, much.
As scary as the story sounds, did you still kinda chuckle a little when you heard about the 21st century pirate attack that happened last Thursday off the coast of Somalia? Cause I did.
I mean, seriously? Pirates? Like real swash-buckling, peg-leg walkin', eye-patch wearin' pirates? Because that's totally what I picture!
So, picture this U.S. cargo ship just swooshing through the ocean waters when all of sudden a group of dirty looking Johnny Depps swing onto the boat. But these aren't the pirates of yesteryear, these are pirates of today. I can see it. "Where's ye captain? We tracked you landlubbers on our GPS and we're takin' over this here ship!" And it continues like this....
Cargo Ship Captain: Are you serious? You're pirates?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Yes we be pirates, now hand over your doubloons.
Cargo Ship Captain: Our what?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Your doubloons. The gold, uh....
Cargo Ship Captain: Like, change? You need some change?
Johnny Depp Pirate: YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN JUST HAND IT OVER!
Cargo Ship Captain: Well, I think I've got some on me..let me see....here's a nickel...
Johnny Depp Pirate: THAT'S IT, we're takin over this ship!!! And all of yous, you're walkin' the plank.
Cargo Ship Captain: We don't have a plank.
Johnny Depp Pirate: ....(aside) Hey, Carl, did you bring the portable plank.
Carl: Aye captain!
Cargo Ship Captain: Listen, so glad you stopped by, but I've got this shipment that's due on Tuesday...sooooo.....HEY! Is that a real parrot?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Yeah, we got him at the street fair in Muqdisho.
Cargo Ship Captain: Nice touch.
Johnny Depp Pirate: Thanks, it brings credibility, don't you think? Hey do you guys have wi-fi?
Cargo Ship Captain: Out here, are you crazy?
BOTH LAUGHING
Johnny Depp Pirate: (laughing) Well...I guess we'll be going. Sorry about the plank thing.
Cargo Ship Captain: Ah, it's ok. Wow, real pirates. This has been a TREAT!
Johnny Depp Pirate: Don't mention it matey.
Cargo Ship Captain: Matey. Ha, now that's something you don't hear every day.
--AND SCENE--
Seriously...pirates? Someone had to have gotten this on their iPhone.
I mean, seriously? Pirates? Like real swash-buckling, peg-leg walkin', eye-patch wearin' pirates? Because that's totally what I picture!
So, picture this U.S. cargo ship just swooshing through the ocean waters when all of sudden a group of dirty looking Johnny Depps swing onto the boat. But these aren't the pirates of yesteryear, these are pirates of today. I can see it. "Where's ye captain? We tracked you landlubbers on our GPS and we're takin' over this here ship!" And it continues like this....
Cargo Ship Captain: Are you serious? You're pirates?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Yes we be pirates, now hand over your doubloons.
Cargo Ship Captain: Our what?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Your doubloons. The gold, uh....
Cargo Ship Captain: Like, change? You need some change?
Johnny Depp Pirate: YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN JUST HAND IT OVER!
Cargo Ship Captain: Well, I think I've got some on me..let me see....here's a nickel...
Johnny Depp Pirate: THAT'S IT, we're takin over this ship!!! And all of yous, you're walkin' the plank.
Cargo Ship Captain: We don't have a plank.
Johnny Depp Pirate: ....(aside) Hey, Carl, did you bring the portable plank.
Carl: Aye captain!
Cargo Ship Captain: Listen, so glad you stopped by, but I've got this shipment that's due on Tuesday...sooooo.....HEY! Is that a real parrot?
Johnny Depp Pirate: Yeah, we got him at the street fair in Muqdisho.
Cargo Ship Captain: Nice touch.
Johnny Depp Pirate: Thanks, it brings credibility, don't you think? Hey do you guys have wi-fi?
Cargo Ship Captain: Out here, are you crazy?
BOTH LAUGHING
Johnny Depp Pirate: (laughing) Well...I guess we'll be going. Sorry about the plank thing.
Cargo Ship Captain: Ah, it's ok. Wow, real pirates. This has been a TREAT!
Johnny Depp Pirate: Don't mention it matey.
Cargo Ship Captain: Matey. Ha, now that's something you don't hear every day.
--AND SCENE--
Seriously...pirates? Someone had to have gotten this on their iPhone.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Yes, a tampax IS absorbent.
Dogs rule. Cats drool.
That's my way of saying, what the hell is wrong with cats?
As my friends are galavanting in Vegas and winning tons of money that they will bequeath to me someday, I get the pleasure of sifting through cat shit and attending to daily feedings.
So, we all know cats are evil, right? Deep down they hate us? They spend days mastering Suduko and when we're cleaning their litter boxes they're thinking, "yeah bitch, you DO that!" So one cat is enough....two cats is just asking for villainous bi-plotting. Yes, a new word – right there.
Here's how today's story starts. I wake up and stumble over to the door that keeps them in the basement for the night. I ordinarily open the door and walk away. However, today would not be one of those days. A sea of white caught my eye. Upon further observation, I see what appears to be a peppering of toilet paper or maybe cotton balls. I make it down the stairs for an even CLOSER look and see that what the little guys got into was my box of Tampax. Yes, the entire box. How they thought it was fun, I have no idea? Maybe they pulled one out and thought, "Oooh a string, it's a toy!"
It gets even more disturbing. I walk into the bathroom to retrieve the waste basket so I can clean up their mess and in the toilet are some other tampons from their midnight playtime. I'm certain that I stood there for a good 10 seconds wondering how in the hell this had happened? Did one cat open the box and the read, "Hey, they're super absorbent...let's go see!"????? How did they manage to get in the box, open the tampons and then proceed to drop them in the toilet? I think they read, "DO NOT FLUSH" and thought oh yeah, you don't tell us cats what to do!!!! Plus, they're male cats...what the hell do they know about tampons?
I'm not one to support bathroom cams, but this would have been a good time for one. Pure evil, good readers, and maybe a little gay.
That's my way of saying, what the hell is wrong with cats?
As my friends are galavanting in Vegas and winning tons of money that they will bequeath to me someday, I get the pleasure of sifting through cat shit and attending to daily feedings.
So, we all know cats are evil, right? Deep down they hate us? They spend days mastering Suduko and when we're cleaning their litter boxes they're thinking, "yeah bitch, you DO that!" So one cat is enough....two cats is just asking for villainous bi-plotting. Yes, a new word – right there.
Here's how today's story starts. I wake up and stumble over to the door that keeps them in the basement for the night. I ordinarily open the door and walk away. However, today would not be one of those days. A sea of white caught my eye. Upon further observation, I see what appears to be a peppering of toilet paper or maybe cotton balls. I make it down the stairs for an even CLOSER look and see that what the little guys got into was my box of Tampax. Yes, the entire box. How they thought it was fun, I have no idea? Maybe they pulled one out and thought, "Oooh a string, it's a toy!"
It gets even more disturbing. I walk into the bathroom to retrieve the waste basket so I can clean up their mess and in the toilet are some other tampons from their midnight playtime. I'm certain that I stood there for a good 10 seconds wondering how in the hell this had happened? Did one cat open the box and the read, "Hey, they're super absorbent...let's go see!"????? How did they manage to get in the box, open the tampons and then proceed to drop them in the toilet? I think they read, "DO NOT FLUSH" and thought oh yeah, you don't tell us cats what to do!!!! Plus, they're male cats...what the hell do they know about tampons?
I'm not one to support bathroom cams, but this would have been a good time for one. Pure evil, good readers, and maybe a little gay.
Monday, April 6, 2009
= brand loyalty
Brand loyalty is a smart thing to build into your business. I had a 2-month old Mac laptop that I loved. It was everything I wanted in a laptop. It was fast and shiny. But it had ONE flaw. A jacked up jack.
Here's the scenario. I'm at my favorite coffee joint. It's quiet. I'm engrossed in my work. My headphones are on and I'm listening to a peaceful yet spirited classical number by Bach. I tend to crank the decibels, because I fully intend to keep the listening to myself. That's sorta the idea with headphones. That is until my laptop thinks otherwise. A short in the headphone jack made it so everyone could hear my awesome tunes. Yes, Bach can be awesome. As the intellectuals peered up from their books of fiction and glared at me with intense dismay, I hurriedly reached for the mute button. Now, imagine that happening a few more times in the same place with the same loyal patrons. Yeah...they love me there now.
Well, my coffee clutching friends will be happy to know that quickly remedied the situation today. When I brought my laptop in, did they ask me a ton of questions of what I may have done to it? No. Did they ask me to leave it with them to send off for repair? No. Did they offer me a corporate job working on creative? No. But what they did do was pretty awesome. The guy said. "How about we give you new laptop?" Sounds good to me!
They migrated all the stuff on my old laptop to my new fast and shiny laptop and all is well. PLUS, they gave me a gift card for my trouble.
Now that is customer service. And that, my friends, is !
Brand loyal? Fuck yeah I am.
So, please...a moment of silence for the old laptop. May it rest in refurbished rack peace.
Sharon
Brand loyalty is a smart thing to build into your business. I had a 2-month old Mac laptop that I loved. It was everything I wanted in a laptop. It was fast and shiny. But it had ONE flaw. A jacked up jack.
Here's the scenario. I'm at my favorite coffee joint. It's quiet. I'm engrossed in my work. My headphones are on and I'm listening to a peaceful yet spirited classical number by Bach. I tend to crank the decibels, because I fully intend to keep the listening to myself. That's sorta the idea with headphones. That is until my laptop thinks otherwise. A short in the headphone jack made it so everyone could hear my awesome tunes. Yes, Bach can be awesome. As the intellectuals peered up from their books of fiction and glared at me with intense dismay, I hurriedly reached for the mute button. Now, imagine that happening a few more times in the same place with the same loyal patrons. Yeah...they love me there now.
Well, my coffee clutching friends will be happy to know that quickly remedied the situation today. When I brought my laptop in, did they ask me a ton of questions of what I may have done to it? No. Did they ask me to leave it with them to send off for repair? No. Did they offer me a corporate job working on creative? No. But what they did do was pretty awesome. The guy said. "How about we give you new laptop?" Sounds good to me!
They migrated all the stuff on my old laptop to my new fast and shiny laptop and all is well. PLUS, they gave me a gift card for my trouble.
Now that is customer service. And that, my friends, is !
Brand loyal? Fuck yeah I am.
So, please...a moment of silence for the old laptop. May it rest in refurbished rack peace.
Sharon
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Hemming and Ha-ha-haing
I often peruse on-line stores to see what I can't buy, and this past week I was looking at some jeans on some retailer's site, and I found myself zooming in, in horror.
Perfectly good jeans – pinch-rolled!
Why, God? Why?
There are looks from many decades past that make one think, sure, we can do that again...can't hurt. But this one? Really? That look is as appealing to me as owning "hammer" pants in a variety of designs and colors. As appealing to me as 1980's mesh half shirts. The fact is this. It's ugly.
I think about how this look became part of popular culture. A flood threatened a mid-west community in the late 1980's and, forced to sand-bag his property, Jeff ran out of the house without anytime to change into his Bermudas and thought..."Well, the only way I'm gonna get these here pants to stay on up and not get wet is if I roll them up in this fashion." Happy with his pants invention he hit the local pub that evening fashioning his dry trousers. It was all the rage and before you knew it, idiot high schoolers, (like myself) thought, "Oh, well everyone else is doing this...."
Audrey Hepburn's black sheath? Good. The modified flare from the 70's? Good for a bit. The 1950's full skirt party dress. Me likes.
But pinch-rolling your jeans? Excuse me while I go and apologize to my jeans for the inhumanity. I didn't care for 1989 the first time...so stop it already.
Leave your hems where they belong. By your heels where they can get nice and wet.
Perfectly good jeans – pinch-rolled!
Why, God? Why?
There are looks from many decades past that make one think, sure, we can do that again...can't hurt. But this one? Really? That look is as appealing to me as owning "hammer" pants in a variety of designs and colors. As appealing to me as 1980's mesh half shirts. The fact is this. It's ugly.
I think about how this look became part of popular culture. A flood threatened a mid-west community in the late 1980's and, forced to sand-bag his property, Jeff ran out of the house without anytime to change into his Bermudas and thought..."Well, the only way I'm gonna get these here pants to stay on up and not get wet is if I roll them up in this fashion." Happy with his pants invention he hit the local pub that evening fashioning his dry trousers. It was all the rage and before you knew it, idiot high schoolers, (like myself) thought, "Oh, well everyone else is doing this...."
Audrey Hepburn's black sheath? Good. The modified flare from the 70's? Good for a bit. The 1950's full skirt party dress. Me likes.
But pinch-rolling your jeans? Excuse me while I go and apologize to my jeans for the inhumanity. I didn't care for 1989 the first time...so stop it already.
Leave your hems where they belong. By your heels where they can get nice and wet.
And it begins...
As a writer, it's just common sense that I have a blog. So, here it is.
Like really smart writing that dives deep into the psyche of human thought and emotion? Then you won't like this blog.
Stay tuned for more.
Sharon
Like really smart writing that dives deep into the psyche of human thought and emotion? Then you won't like this blog.
Stay tuned for more.
Sharon
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