Pirates don't change, much.

As scary as the story sounds, did you still kinda chuckle a little when you heard about the 21st century pirate attack that happened last Thursday off the coast of Somalia? Cause I did.

I mean, seriously? Pirates? Like real swash-buckling, peg-leg walkin', eye-patch wearin' pirates? Because that's totally what I picture!

So, picture this U.S. cargo ship just swooshing through the ocean waters when all of sudden a group of dirty looking Johnny Depps swing onto the boat. But these aren't the pirates of yesteryear, these are pirates of today. I can see it. "Where's ye captain? We tracked you landlubbers on our GPS and we're takin' over this here ship!" And it continues like this....


Cargo Ship Captain: Are you serious? You're pirates?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Yes we be pirates, now hand over your doubloons.

Cargo Ship Captain: Our what?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Your doubloons. The gold, uh....

Cargo Ship Captain: Like, change? You need some change?

Johnny Depp Pirate: YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN JUST HAND IT OVER!

Cargo Ship Captain: Well, I think I've got some on me..let me see....here's a nickel...

Johnny Depp Pirate: THAT'S IT, we're takin over this ship!!! And all of yous, you're walkin' the plank.

Cargo Ship Captain: We don't have a plank.

Johnny Depp Pirate: ....(aside) Hey, Carl, did you bring the portable plank.

Carl: Aye captain!

Cargo Ship Captain: Listen, so glad you stopped by, but I've got this shipment that's due on Tuesday...sooooo.....HEY! Is that a real parrot?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Yeah, we got him at the street fair in Muqdisho.

Cargo Ship Captain: Nice touch.

Johnny Depp Pirate: Thanks, it brings credibility, don't you think? Hey do you guys have wi-fi?

Cargo Ship Captain: Out here, are you crazy?

BOTH LAUGHING

Johnny Depp Pirate: (laughing) Well...I guess we'll be going. Sorry about the plank thing.

Cargo Ship Captain: Ah, it's ok. Wow, real pirates. This has been a TREAT!

Johnny Depp Pirate: Don't mention it matey.

Cargo Ship Captain: Matey. Ha, now that's something you don't hear every day.

--AND SCENE--


Seriously...pirates? Someone had to have gotten this on their iPhone.