Chicken Sh*t?

BLOG READER WARNING: The following entry does not include the writer’s usual comedic and sarcastic stylings. However, she invites you to read this piece that mirrors her more observational and introspective mood. She gets that this is mostly for her but hopefully you get something out of it as well. The waters get deep…you’ve been warned.

What the hell are we doing?

I am angry. At people. At us. I’m quite aware of that reflection, let’s be clear. How sad that just about everywhere I go I am constantly disappointed. On a daily basis. On a minute-by-minute basis. Let’s be honest, most of the people around us choose to live a life that does not at ALL live up to their potential. Robots of routine. Sinners of safe. Perpetuators of placidity.

Sure, this entry comes from a place inside of me that is unhappy with my current situation but also from a need to really stir things up. There’s a part of me that has a need to do something spectacular. Not on a selfish level but on a more community/global level. It’s not about fame or fortune or any of that. It’s about living up to MY potential.

But that’s the word – potential.

We are afraid of our own potential. We're afraid of what we could possibly DO because doing it is hard. But nothing worth doing comes easy. I read a fantastic book by Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Melon Professor who succumbed to pancreatic cancer last year. His book is titled, ‘The Last Lecture” and has become one of the most successful books in recent years. Mr. Pausch talks about living your best life and pursuing your childhood dreams and the book is nothing less than inspiring. But there is one quote from that book that has had a profound affect on me. “Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre.”

SMACK! That’s what reading that line felt like…a smack across my face. It wasn’t my wake up call, but instead, it defined what I had always been thinking. I now saw it in black ink and it was like someone read my thoughts. In fact, I think I exclaimed out loud, “UH, THANK YOU!”

I think that if you don’t go for it every day of your life, you are losing. You are giving up something great. When is the last time you changed your routine? When is the last time you DIDN’T change your routine because it was comfortable or easy or SAFE? When is the last time you challenged or encouraged your children to go away from the norm? When is the last time you did something because it WAS scary? When is the last time you stopped yourself and talked yourself out of something BECAUSE it was scary?

Let me talk about inspiration. When I'm inspired I'm moved to do something. Right now, a place is what inspires me. My local coffee shop. Not the Starbucks kind you find on every corner, but this one particular coffee shop I go to by my Alma mater. I get a thrill each day knowing I’m going there. Sure, there are the posers that every coffee shop has…but this place has proven to be otherwise. And I drink it up. There are professors chatting with other professors. There are students holding group discussions. There are intellectuals reviewing a new book. There are activists preparing for a meeting. The place is full of energy. It’s full of people with a lifelong thirst to learn, grow and be their best.

Here’s an example. Each time I come in, I try to sit in a different spot. This one particular day, I was sitting in one of the prime spots that had a great view and a nearby electrical outlet. It also happened to be near the bulletin board. As the hours went by, I noticed patron after patron perusing the postings. Now, I don’t know about you, but in most restaurants and cafes, I don’t see the bulletin board getting much attention. You certainly don’t see a bevy of people hovering. Well, here it’s different. Because people are INTERESTING! They look to see what inspires them or with whom they can connect. And that, alone, was inspiring to me.

I am 37. And I will be 37 once in my life. Each year is a blessing and an opportunity to grow and live and evolve. I haven’t yet done my life’s work, but I have done many things in my life that I’m damn proud of. And those things I’m most proud of happened when I was afraid. That fear drove me to do it even more; because it was obvious something on the other side was waiting. The times I've relocated to a new city. When I trained for a triathlon. When I auditioned for a Broadway show last minute. When I jumped off a 150-foot platform with only a bungee cord tied to my waist. When I didn't drop out of college when it got too hard. When I approached intimidating successful people and begged for an interview. Sometimes I got what I wanted. Sometimes I didn't. In fact, I'm sure I didn't get what I wanted more than when I did.

But the point is this...even if I didn’t succeed, I didn’t fail. It takes tremendous courage to go there and to live up to your potential…but not trying is much more of a failure to me. And I plan on not succeeding at a whole bunch of things in my years to come.

So, what are you afraid of? Whatever it is, most likely it reflects something you really want.