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Shasp Interviews The Star Of Pep Comics!

Interview conducted on August 8th, 2009.
Shasp sits down with Pepper, and talks about her upcoming move to Chicago and gets to know the personality behind the comic strip star.

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE LAUGHING LADY

Yesterday I captured and posted the video of the Laughing Lady at Starbucks. Today, I was granted a one-on-one interview with the woman herself.

Who is the lady behind the laugh? Watch and see.

BLOGGIN' ON THE YOUTUBE

Going to be doing more video blogging in the near future. So please go to my YouTube channel and subscribe. The more hits the better!!!!!!

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Thanks Everyone! :)

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COFFEE SHOP LADY LAUGHS...LOUDLY

HITTING RESTART IS FUN

New town...new place....NEW START!

I have been finding myself getting ridiculously giddy about the fact that I will get my stuff back soon and I can have my own home again. It's going to be like Christmas when I open the boxes up from storage. (Yes, Scott, you have to give me my TV back!)

Wow, you have no idea how much you take for granted until it's wiped away. A year living out of rubbermaid bins really puts things into perspective.

It'll be a good month or so before I can move into a place in downtown Chicago, since I'll be working temporarily out of the Hoffman Estates office. That works in my favor, because I can take my time in finding the place that fits me. Well, honestly, the place that fits Pep best and then me.

If I hadn't become a writer, I think I would have studied interior design or architecture. I am passionately drawn to all things in home design and decor. I subscribe to ultra urban trendy ReadyMade magazine. Used to get Domino before they went under. Etsy.com is a bookmarked site for me too! I love to design a unique space that invites me to be home and simply relax. And a comfortable place to bring friends and family that reflects my personal style. I like it to be whimsical but classy. Contemporary but mid-century modern. I like to include pieces and a style that evokes a personality and create conversations. Good conversations, that is.

Here's a list of my favorite things.


Art Deco: Love the unique classically retro feel of this style. It brings together elements of an older culture with a streamlined, Machine Age vibe from the the 1920s and 1930s. Seen many hotels in Chicago do this look well. Honoring the past and blending in the desired looks of today.



Mid-century Modernism: My favorite style. Mostly for the Frank Lloyd Wright work of this era. Just love the organic and simple nature of this style. And the large open spaces within the home. The lines of the furniture and the patterns in fabrics and wallpaper are experiencing a resurgence. It's a style, that for me, exudes elegance without being pretentious.



Urban/Organic: Now this is cool. Eclectic, raw, industrial, urban and all-together elegant. It's so aesthetically appealing to me. The person that lives in this space is probably creative, inspired by where they live and goes to the farmer's market a lot.





Here is just a sampling of interior finishes, design elements, and architectural touches that I find especially rad. They each have a quality that I would love to include in my new place. It may not be the piece itself, but something of it.

Change is good! You're all invited to my new pad and let's converse!

MY BITCH'S BLOG

Hey followers, this is Pepper. That's right....Pep. The dog. The bitch. Didn't think a dog could be Mac-fluent? Well command+shift+4 this blog cause your eyes ain't lyin!

Today I OWN this blog.

So you've heard? Yup. I'm moving to Chicago. The city of the wind. I've already packed up my rubber shoe, the chicken, yellow ball, and I'm waiting for Tula to get out of my bed so I can pack that up too.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I love living here with my friends Remy, Tula and Gary, but this heat is ridiculous. You walk around wearing a coat of fur and then only sweat from your tongue and see how well that cools you off! In Colorado and California I was fit!!! I mean, the muscle tone in my legs was to die for. We'd go to the dog park almost daily. I'd roll around in dead squirrel carcasses and the poop from other dogs and it was heavenly. And so many rears to sniff. OH those were the days. Since living in Florida I've put on some girth. There's no Lane Bryant canine equivalent, so I gotta work this stuff off. And the black and white spots don't hide a THING.

I kinda knew the move was coming. fewr'D SDFGLIJ SDFLKJ...DAMMIT. I'm all paws, sorry.
Anyway, I knew it was coming. Last week mom left me for 2 days so she could visit Chicago and get a job. I bet she stuck her tongue out on the plane. Oh and I saw this book on the bed titled "A Dog Lover's Companion To Chicago." And I have to say, I like what I saw. I pawed through the pages while mom slept one night. Grant Park. Nice. Dog bakeries. Always good. And Montrose Beach. Bring it!

HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!? HUMAN AT THE DOOR!!!?

Sorry, I'm back.

One night I saw mom looking at some YouTube videos of the dog beaches in Chicago. I saw her dog-ear the site...or what you call "bookmark" and I got on later to see it again. Yes, a dog into social media. Get used to it. Anyway.....NICE! These mid-western dogs have got it made. I saw some Great Danes..I likes me some Great Dane. A beach just for dogs...white sandy beach...clean freshwater lake.....all on the shores of the city? Yeah, sign me up. All tails point north!!!!

It'll be ANOTHER long trip in the car, but who cares, I'm the dog. Mom props up blankets and makes the ride all cushy. So, gas it up and open my window. I feel a tongue hanging out in my near future. I love road trips. It all started in Colorado when I met my mom. From there we moved to California and then Michigan and then Florida and then back to Michigan and then back to Florida and now back up north to Chicago. Granted, I slept on all the trips but I can say I've relieved myself in about half of these American states. Jealous? You should be.

Chicago will be fun. And mom always thinks of me first when it comes to places to live and things to do so I got that going for me. Yeah, my life doesn't suck, that's for sure. Just not sure who will keep Tula's head and ears clean after I leave.

Well, before I hit the road again, a few words for my friends.

Gary: The scheme sounds great and totally diabolical. Sure, everyone thinks you're the quiet one, but our late nights in the laundry room with the flashlight going over your plans have convinced me otherwise. You'll have no problem taking over the house and then the world. Keep the dream alive.

Remy: You're a spaz.

Tula: I KNOW you took my pink bandana and hit it under your bed. I expect it to be placed on my luggage the day I leave. No questions asked.

Well, time to get back to it. Sure won't miss those early morning wake-up calls from a little annoying dachshund/lab....you know who you are.







Ok...maybe I will.

Bye bitches and others,

The Peps





From left: Remy, Human Jim, Tula and Gary.

Singing The Blues...In a Good Way.

I was in Chicago earlier this week for an interview. It was one of the best trips I've ever taken. The company flew me in and everything was first class. Limo ride from the airport. Posh hotel. Amazing city skyline view. Limo ride to the airport. The whole trip was seamless.

Happy to report that after 395 days of unemployment....I have a job. I flew back to Orlando on Wednesday, and Thursday they called me with an offer. So in two weeks I'll be living in the heart of the Windy City and I couldn't be happier. If you've been following my blog, you'll know that my employment search started in Chicago when I lost my job last year. Feeling really blessed right now. It's all come full circle.

As elated as I am for FINALLY having a job, the best part of the trip took place on Tuesday night.

I decided to hit a small jazz club on Rush street for dinner and drinks before sinking into my comfy hotel bed. I carefully counted my money to see what I could afford to eat and how many drinks I could fit in. I settled on a salad and a SoCo & D. Coke.

The quaint club, Jilly's (quoted to be Frank Sinatra's favorite Chicago bistro) was packed and full of energy. It was ALL Chicago. I soaked it all in. The jazz trio was sensational and I had the perfect high-top to take it all in. At one point, I saw a gentleman trying hard to find a place to sit and since I was by myself, I offered my other seat to him.

My new friend, Martin Jack, was in town on business and pretty much doing what I was doing... getting a bite to eat before making it an early night. It's fun meeting new people.

When the band took a break, I asked if they would let a wanna-be jazz singer sit in with the band? After spewing out my singing credentials, they obliged.

I got my chance to finally sing in a Chicago jazz club and it was a TRUE highlight of my life. Big check mark on that bucket list. I sang a song by Oleta Adams called "Get Here," as the pianist accompanied me. We followed each other's cues and it was like we had worked together for years. They asked me to sing another song, but I didn't have anything else memorized so I passed. Go out on a high note, right?

When I sat down, the owner stopped by and handed me his business card and asked if I would come and sing here again and I said.."If I get a job tomorrow, definitely!" What a thrill!!!!!!!! Man, it felt so good. Another gentleman stopped by my table and said, "When my wife and I walked in, we actually thought Oleta Adams was here singing!" And I replied, "Then you saw me and thought about leaving, right?"

Seriously, it was an incredible feeling. I was ready to call it a night and asked for my check. Before I could reach into my purse, the waitress told me that Martin paid for my entire tab. I was so taken back. He said, "Someday, when you're famous, you'll buy me dinner."

Such a great night. I walked back to the hotel room with a smile that my face hadn't seen in a long time. Every inch of me was alive from that experience and all I could think was, "I hope I get this job! I must be here!"

And now...I will be.

This keyboard design clearly illustrates the power of brands! Can you make it out? The letters are replaced for the logos we know and, for some of us, love. M = Mcdonald's. D = Disney. E = ebay. And so forth. If you're a keyboard "pecker" this may not be for you. But for those who can type like nobody's business, this would be kinda fun. What if we forgot the actual alphabet and started to think of letters as logos?

I have to say, I never did understand why the APPLE key on the Mac didn't have the Apple logo on it? Just makes sense.



Read the full story on this at brandinfection.com

Take A Break

If you don't believe in the power of advertising, tell me you don't want a KitKat right now?

This takes me to a wonderful point about where advertising creative is headed...NON-TRADITIONAL!

Want to reach motorists? Paint an ad on the street. Want to reach people in a high-rise? Advertise on top of trucks and buses. Want to reach people taking a break? Turn your bench into an ad!!!!

Why think in terms of print ad, radio spot, or TV campaign? Sometimes the best way to reach your audience is in ways someone has never done before.

This kind of creative gets me excited about advertising. And for chocolate too!

Source: www.brandinfection.com

Writing for The Web

Some great tips I use for writing for the web. I know that many of my followers are not writers, but hopefully you can get something from this and offer some additional ideas for how YOU use the web.

Here it goes...

Principles of copywriting for the web

Writing effective web copy isn't easy. But good copy is essential to ensuring that your readers — and your customers, if you run a business — can understand how your website works and what it can do for them.


Remember three key things about web users

People don't read websites the same way they read print material. There are three key characteristics that affect how web users react to online content (and consumer-related content in particular):

1. Web users are active, not passive: One click and they're gone. If they don't see a reason to stay on your site, they'll leave — in as little as 15 seconds after they get there.
2. The longer the text, the less likely they are to read it — and the faster they'll skim it, if they bother to skim it at all.
3. They don't believe hype. If you want a web user to believe what you say, you have to back it up.

To be effective, your web copy must take these characteristics into account.

Anticipate your site's users' questions

There are four basic questions a user has that you must answer on every page: "What am I doing here," "How do I do it," "What's in it for me," and "Where can I go next?" If your site's navigation and design don't make the answers obvious to even a first-time visitor — which they should, if at all possible — then you should use copy to explain them.

Don't count on your site's visitors to figure things out for themselves — half of them won't bother to try, and half the rest won't succeed.

Keep most copy short

Unless a visitor arrives at a particular page on your site expecting to find something to read, he or she probably won't read more than one or two lines of text. And the longer the text, the less likely he is to read any of it. Don't add long copy to any page where your visitors aren't looking for it.

Keep short copy simple

The complexity of your copy matters as much as its length. Make sure visitors can understand short copy on its first reading, without stopping to think about it. (They won't.)

Typically, you can convey one key idea effectively in one or two lines. You can sometimes get two, if they're both simple. Don't try for three; try to say too much and you ruin the chance that even the first idea will get through. (And if a new user isn't going to be able to understand a page on your site without learning three new things first, it's time to think about a redesign.)

If you anticipate that readers will want to learn more about something they find on a page where they weren't expecting a lot of copy, add a link to another page where they can get the information they need.

Organize longer copy effectively

Even when readers are expecting to find a text-heavy page, they won't necessarily be willing to put much effort into reading it. Make it easy for them by dividing distinct ideas into separate paragraphs, using helpful headings, sub-headings and bulletted lists, and introducing key ideas deliberately.

Don't assume readers will read longer pieces of text in their entirety — write the copy so that readers can skim it and read only the parts they're interested in.

Longer copy needn't be as direct as short copy, but it must be just as easy to read. If your visitors have to work too hard to understand what it's saying, they'll stop reading.

Make it lively

Be clear, but don't be boring. Write vividly and aim for a light, unassuming tone of voice. It takes a little while for boring or overbearing copy to affect a reader, but once it does, practically nothing you say with it will get through.

Focus on your core audience

You can't reach everyone. Make sure your copy addresses your site's most important audience directly and lets them know what the site can do for them in particular. Don't weaken its effectiveness by adding words intended for readers you don't need.

If you are targeting more than one kind of visitor, design your site to direct the different audiences to different pages on the site. If a web user doesn't think your site has something of value to him, he'll go somewhere else. But if your message speaks directly to his needs, he'll listen.

Use a consistent voice throughout

The more consistent a voice you create — and the better it speaks to your intended audience in particular — the quicker your visitors will recognize it and become familiar with it. And the more familiar it is to them, the more effective it will be.

Let the facts speak for themselves

Don't talk down to or past your audience. Make your descriptions compelling, but not excessive. Web readers read hype as hype, and remember it that way, too. Skip it.


Thanks Google for your help!

Sharon: 1 David Maus: 0

Every single person, whether you're in advertising or not, can relate to this story. You see it every time you turn the TV on. They sponsor the news. They come on between sitcoms. They invade the precious space in your brain you don't want to surrender to them.

LOCAL CAR DEALERSHIP ADS!

Here, in the Orlando area, there is ONE specific car dealership I have an issue with – David Maus Toyota. His slogan is "Whatever It Takes." Yeah, David, what's it going to take for you to reconsider your TV ads? Did you review these ads and think, "Yup, awesome...done."? Didn't the director of your spots say, "Ok, David, that was a good take, but this time, let's go for something less dealery."?

Let me give you an idea of these ads. Typical car dealership ad. Guy stands in front of dealership and a host of cars. The script makes my brain itch. But more than that, Mr. Maus' demeanor is the worst.

No. 1 rule in advertising: RELATE to your audience.

So.....I wrote to him. Yup...I wrote to David Maus through his website and this is a sample of what I said.

Dear Mr. David Maus Toyota, Lincoln, Lexus whatever:

See, I don't even really know what kind of cars you sell. I'm reaching out to you as both a consumer and as someone who's been a creative in the advertising industry for two decades now.
What are you doing? Your TV ads hurt my eyes...and why? Because you have the potential to do so much better. Ask yourself this, "Is this how I would talk to a customer?" Would you point to them the second they get on the lot and say "Whatever it takes!" Would you refer to them as "Central Florida" and then gently cup your hands to resemble a circle? I just want you to know that you may be reaching a small part of your prospective customers, but you could be doing SO much better. You could be relating to them. You could talk to them like they are a VALUED customer. And make the spots not about how awesome you think YOU and YOUR dealership are, but instead focus on the BENEFITS that the consumer is looking for.
And whomever told you to wear all black for a black background surely did not consider the use of color on tv and in advertising.

Happy to give you some ideas. You have my email.


So there you have it. Haven't heard from him, but whatevs. Have you ever hated your local car dealership ads? If yes..then, you're welcome.

Michael Jackson

Ok...I'll admit it. For the past 15 years or so, I haven't been much of a fan. But from Thriller to BAD...I was.

Obsessed fan is more like it. In 1984, I was 12. And I also sorta looked like a boy...braces, mullet...yeah, you get the picture. Rough years. But I was in LOVE with Michael Jackson. I had the signature glove, the trading cards, the albums, the sparkly socks, the posters..OH the posters!!! But nothing marks my adoration for the man like the one piece of memorabilia I still hold close to my heart.

My youth-sized Michael Jackson jacket. (See picture below)


This is a very special jacket to me. Let me put it this way. Any memories I have from my childhood are in one antique trunk in my storage unit. It contains scrapbooks, trophies, my letterman jacket, a crusty prom corsage and...my Michael Jackson jacket. I threw out my PROM DRESSES to make room in the trunk. But I could NEVER get rid of that jacket.

How I got the jacket is partly the reason why. (Pause for you to get tissue) 1984 is also the year my parents divorced. I was living in Michigan at the time, but my mother decided to move to Florida and I decided to go with her. This was a crushing blow to my father...we were the best of buddies my entire life. I think even at that age I was excited for change, and probably, more than anything, going to Disney World. So, that's why I went with mom. Well, the day came for me and my mom to leave for Florida. Dad drove us to the airport in Duluth, Minnesota, which was about 2 hours away. We arrived early and decided to walk around the Target near the airport. It was at this Target that I saw THE jacket. I pleaded and pleaded to have it...but, I had to bid the red pleather adieu.

Dad drove me and my mom to the airport. To this day, it is still the single most saddest and most difficult minutes of my life. Saying good-bye to my father was beyond difficult...I was leaving behind everything I knew. Finally, my father let go and I watched him fade away in the parking lot.

Mom and I went to our gate and had about an hour to kill. About 10 minutes before we boarded, I saw my dad appear through the doors with a bag in his hand. He fought back tears and said..."I really want you to have this." I opened the bag and it was my jacket.

That is why the jacket will always have a home in my memory trunk.

Sharon

P.S. Two months later I moved back home 'cause I missed my dog...and dad too. :)
P.P.S. My mom called me on Thursday and said.."Are you O.K.?" Gives you an idea of how many hours I spent in front of the TV mastering the moves.

A Day At The Office...I mean, Starbucks.

12:07 pm: Just watched trainee make a drink wrong, hand it over, and customer grimace. Interesting to sit so close and watch the chain of events when a drink goes wrong. Yes, I know how it works now...I live here you know.

12:50 pm: Yes lady, your breasts are visible to us all...thanks for making that unmistakably obvious.

1:11 pm: Rudest man on earth comes in. "I want (blah blah blah blah pretentious drink order) and if you have Pikes Peak brewing throw it out and make me this, I don't want that crap." Oh, hey, did you notice the line forming over here for our NICE customers?

1:23 pm: Megan IM's me about going to see the body exhibit thing at the Tampa museum. But it's like $30. Hmm...$30 to see dead people? Isn't the morgue free?

1:30 pm: Noticing that the Brits are very cheery folk. Polite and courteous. I'm a fan.

2:38 pm: Cliche adolescent boys enter. Do they have faces? I wouldn't know. Hair so long and so face framing, you'd think they were in some teenage witness protection program. Pretty sure one used a flat iron.

2:39 pm: One of the boys turned the corner. Skinny jeans are not flattering for the young boys who's little guys haven't dropped yet. Just sayin. In fact, skinny jeans are not flattering for the older ones either. No one wants to see that. Stop it. Rule of thumb: WWBPD. What Would Brad Pitt Do? Cause most ladies like. Just sayin.

2:50 pm: I love it when the Internet drops and you are typing a long IM to someone and they never get it and you don't know that. It's awesome, really. Thank you AT&T WIFI!

3:10 pm: Man stands unusually close to my table with his backside to me. He's chatting with two other folks and it's hard to NOT notice that every time he starts to speak he forcefully clenches his butt cheeks. Why? And why do I have to see this?

3:15 pm: Waiting for the hot-doesn't-know-I-know-he's-married-guy to come in and hit on me again. Can't wait to say to him..."Hey, Ring Tan, think your wife would like you canoodling over coffee?"

3:22 pm: Why do people shop at D.O.T.S.? #1 It's clear you do. #2 You can get more fashionable stuff for the same price at Old Navy. #3 And the size 4 does not fit your size 9 chest..fix that.

3:33 pm: Hades has landed. The nearly 100 degree heat wafts in every time the door opens. Can't wait to lick the sweat off my upper lip as I walk 4 feet to my car.

3:36 pm: Megan tells me that JWT needs a copywriter for their Nestle account. Chocolate and writing? Sweet. Attach resume and send!

You, yes you, are a sucker!

I thought we had come a long way from the simple TV commercials we grew up with in the 70s and 80s. Granted, some are iconic, but they really did try to pull one over on the consumer. We were treated like a naïve, ignorant and mindless target audience. And has that changed much? Nope. Except for a few precious gems. VW has done some great stuff. Mac – good. And, albeit annoying, you gotta give props to ShamWow because it’s a simple product that you see obviously works. However, it is just a shami, so spend about $19.01 less and go to the dollar store and get yourself one, fool.

But here’s my beef. It really falls into two categories of commercials. Makeup and Household Cleaners. Every time I see these type of commercials I cringe.

Household Cleaners
“Germ-fighting action.” Lies. Lies. Lies. Not only do I hate that they throw this phrase into our brains, but I absolutely despise the animation that accompanies every single stupid ad. You know what I’m saying. “See how the fast acting cleaning agent gets rid of 99.9% of the bacteria!” Really? Is that how it works? Just like that? Disinfect to protect? Will I see the creepy crawlies dissolve before my very eyes? Come on, we all know that 99.9% of these products DON’T work. At least not like THAT! I love OxiClean. It does work. BUT, it doesn’t work how loud screaming guy says it does. JUST SPRAY IT ON LIKE THIS AND IT DISAPPEARS BEFORE YOUR EYES!!!! No it doesn’t! You have to SOAK it in HOT HOT water over night and THEN it disappears. And unless I’m staying up all-night and staring at its “quick stain-fighting action” I’m not seeing it dissolve before my eyes. BUT…it does work. However, don't put any 100% cotton item that you don't want to shrink in this oxygen-induced bath. Cause you need the hot water and it WILL shrink your shit. So…. enough with the lying and the ridiculous germ animations that are NOT real. Show me real and I’ll buy.

COSMETICS

Face it. NO matter how much Revlon you slap on your face, you’re NEVER going to look like Halle Berry. Believe me, I’ve tried. The second advertising beef I have is with the makeup industry. These ads haven’t changed in the 37 years I’ve been alive. Show a beautiful woman pretending to put on some “it” makeup product, when we all know she’s wearing top-of-the-line MAC products that cost a lot more than $2.99 Maybelline, and have her smile and make love to the camera. Come on women, you know you want this. Lash pumping mascara. Garnier hair color that we KNOW Sarah Jessica Parker is NOT letting touch her sexy iconic hair. Why should she when she has a gay husband at home who can probably color her hair just fine, I’m sure. All-day wear lipstick. And the list continues. LIES. LIES. LIES. But beyond the lies of how these products work and the lame attempts to show us that they just might, it’s how incredibly dull and unimaginative this category is when it comes to advertising. The criteria for creative in these spots is rather shameful. Beautiful woman. Check. Product in hand. Check. Her smiling and flipping her hair. Check. And we have an AD! Show me every day lady wearing a lipstick that REALLY lasts all day. Sure, it lasts all day for these cosmetic models because they don’t eat, resulting in no glossy lip wear. These commercials do NOT relate to Main Street. So whom are they talking to? The celebs don’t buy makeup; it’s put on FOR them. So shove your hair volumnizers and your chip-proof nail polishes and your no-clumping mascara, and your color-matching foundations where your shimmery lip plumper doesn’t shine.

Do advertisers really think we’re stupid enough to believe this? Yes. Are people really this stupid to believe this? Yes. And that is unfortunate because as someone who makes a living out of making advertising messages, I’m threatening to DVR ALL my shows and not watch a single commercial ever again. I’m serious, I’ll do it. I will.

I'll tell you which commercial is probably my all-time favorite. The Tide stain-talking ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2cs8gnb42A
And here's why.
1. Just hilarious
2. I've always been a Tide brand loyal consumer
3. The concept is simple: Your stain can be so disgusting that it can keep the focus off of you, and only on your stain. And nobody wants that. So use this.
4. The product actually works!
5. MEMORABLE!!!!

Last thought. What’s with the filthy tub they use to demonstrate the cleaning power of X BRAND? Who bathes in these tubs? Do they spend their days in a trough and then just sit in the tub and not ever turn on the water? Geez, forget the bleach and spring for a new tub.

Tell me what you think...leave a comment!

Chicken Sh*t?

BLOG READER WARNING: The following entry does not include the writer’s usual comedic and sarcastic stylings. However, she invites you to read this piece that mirrors her more observational and introspective mood. She gets that this is mostly for her but hopefully you get something out of it as well. The waters get deep…you’ve been warned.

What the hell are we doing?

I am angry. At people. At us. I’m quite aware of that reflection, let’s be clear. How sad that just about everywhere I go I am constantly disappointed. On a daily basis. On a minute-by-minute basis. Let’s be honest, most of the people around us choose to live a life that does not at ALL live up to their potential. Robots of routine. Sinners of safe. Perpetuators of placidity.

Sure, this entry comes from a place inside of me that is unhappy with my current situation but also from a need to really stir things up. There’s a part of me that has a need to do something spectacular. Not on a selfish level but on a more community/global level. It’s not about fame or fortune or any of that. It’s about living up to MY potential.

But that’s the word – potential.

We are afraid of our own potential. We're afraid of what we could possibly DO because doing it is hard. But nothing worth doing comes easy. I read a fantastic book by Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Melon Professor who succumbed to pancreatic cancer last year. His book is titled, ‘The Last Lecture” and has become one of the most successful books in recent years. Mr. Pausch talks about living your best life and pursuing your childhood dreams and the book is nothing less than inspiring. But there is one quote from that book that has had a profound affect on me. “Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre.”

SMACK! That’s what reading that line felt like…a smack across my face. It wasn’t my wake up call, but instead, it defined what I had always been thinking. I now saw it in black ink and it was like someone read my thoughts. In fact, I think I exclaimed out loud, “UH, THANK YOU!”

I think that if you don’t go for it every day of your life, you are losing. You are giving up something great. When is the last time you changed your routine? When is the last time you DIDN’T change your routine because it was comfortable or easy or SAFE? When is the last time you challenged or encouraged your children to go away from the norm? When is the last time you did something because it WAS scary? When is the last time you stopped yourself and talked yourself out of something BECAUSE it was scary?

Let me talk about inspiration. When I'm inspired I'm moved to do something. Right now, a place is what inspires me. My local coffee shop. Not the Starbucks kind you find on every corner, but this one particular coffee shop I go to by my Alma mater. I get a thrill each day knowing I’m going there. Sure, there are the posers that every coffee shop has…but this place has proven to be otherwise. And I drink it up. There are professors chatting with other professors. There are students holding group discussions. There are intellectuals reviewing a new book. There are activists preparing for a meeting. The place is full of energy. It’s full of people with a lifelong thirst to learn, grow and be their best.

Here’s an example. Each time I come in, I try to sit in a different spot. This one particular day, I was sitting in one of the prime spots that had a great view and a nearby electrical outlet. It also happened to be near the bulletin board. As the hours went by, I noticed patron after patron perusing the postings. Now, I don’t know about you, but in most restaurants and cafes, I don’t see the bulletin board getting much attention. You certainly don’t see a bevy of people hovering. Well, here it’s different. Because people are INTERESTING! They look to see what inspires them or with whom they can connect. And that, alone, was inspiring to me.

I am 37. And I will be 37 once in my life. Each year is a blessing and an opportunity to grow and live and evolve. I haven’t yet done my life’s work, but I have done many things in my life that I’m damn proud of. And those things I’m most proud of happened when I was afraid. That fear drove me to do it even more; because it was obvious something on the other side was waiting. The times I've relocated to a new city. When I trained for a triathlon. When I auditioned for a Broadway show last minute. When I jumped off a 150-foot platform with only a bungee cord tied to my waist. When I didn't drop out of college when it got too hard. When I approached intimidating successful people and begged for an interview. Sometimes I got what I wanted. Sometimes I didn't. In fact, I'm sure I didn't get what I wanted more than when I did.

But the point is this...even if I didn’t succeed, I didn’t fail. It takes tremendous courage to go there and to live up to your potential…but not trying is much more of a failure to me. And I plan on not succeeding at a whole bunch of things in my years to come.

So, what are you afraid of? Whatever it is, most likely it reflects something you really want.

An oldie for some. But, maybe new to you.

Most advertising sucks. (And that’s being generous)

There’s a four-letter word for most of these ads out there. SAFE. Yes, that's right, I just swore.

A safe ad is a bad ad. In fact, a safe ad isn’t an ad. It’s a waste of space. It’s an assault on every consumer’s intelligence. More importantly, it’s a waste of money. Vowels and consonants are utterly embarrassed to be in these kinds of ads. (I’m a writer, so we’re close. They tell me these things).

A good ad persuades you to read it again. Maybe even more than once. It should speak to you. No, it should SHOUT at you! And when you like it so much you might want to make copies of that ad and build a paper suit out of it and tell everyone you see, “HEY! Look at this ad! I’m wearing this ad as a paper suit! That’s how good it is!!!!”

What’s behind a great ad? A brand. A story. I believe in brands. I believe in Tide. Starbucks. Target. Saturn. Disney. I love brands. I am a brand fan. If they made brand fan sponge fingers, I’d duct tape that sucker to my hand and wave it around like I just don't care.

There’s a story behind every product and an audience ready and willing to drop some cash. Show me a brand and I’ll make people love it. And it won’t be safe. Cause safe sucks. And we should all want to wear paper suits.

Signs Are Important

There you are in a public restroom. I don’t mean this in a Pee Wee Herman unfortunate way, (or fortunate, depending on your personal kicks)….I digress. So, you find yourself in a public restroom, and there it is. In every one. It contains nine dumb-founding words. You can't miss it. And mostly likely, it's not even there for you. But you see it every time. Sometimes it's by the sink. Sometimes it’s by the exit. Sometimes it’s by the hand towels.

The sign.

“Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning To Work.”

I have three problems with this sign.

1. PLACEMENT.
Why isn’t it IN the stall when said employee is doing his or her business and is considering whether or not they will wash their hands today? Why is the sign on the way OUT when the decision has already been made? Of course they’re gonna be like, “Yeah, no thanks. Already made up my mind. Should have told me sooner.” You need to get them much earlier in the decision making process. Those in the stall are what we call in the advertising biz, a “captive audience.” So captivate them with the reasons why they should wash their hands. Even if walking around with pee pee stinky hands isn’t enough of a reason.

2. TARGET AUDIENCE.
What about the rest of us? Oh, so employees have to wash their hands, but not the rest of us? Because, fecal matter that ends up on salt shakers or table tops is OK?

3. MUST?
The use of this word is just hilarious. “Oh, it says must, so I better.” We all know that when someone tells us we have to do something, but no one is there to reinforce that “must,” that it’s not gonna happen. A sign is not going to make this happen people. Especially when you work there. Most employees on their break are already sick of the place and its rules, so yeah, washing hands when TOLD to is most likely not going to be a priority. “I’m gonna go out with my hands like THIS…THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM!” Why not have a sign that reads, “If you work here, wash your damn hands…and if you don’t, we’ll know…how? We just will. Promise you this. So do it!” Any employee will be wondering HOW they’ll know and the hassle of trying to get around the system won’t be worth it so they’ll just do it.

So restroom sign makers, please change your verbiage and sign placement. And remember, patrons also have pee pee stinky hands.

Bet you can’t wait to use that silverware on the table now, huh?

Pirates don't change, much.

As scary as the story sounds, did you still kinda chuckle a little when you heard about the 21st century pirate attack that happened last Thursday off the coast of Somalia? Cause I did.

I mean, seriously? Pirates? Like real swash-buckling, peg-leg walkin', eye-patch wearin' pirates? Because that's totally what I picture!

So, picture this U.S. cargo ship just swooshing through the ocean waters when all of sudden a group of dirty looking Johnny Depps swing onto the boat. But these aren't the pirates of yesteryear, these are pirates of today. I can see it. "Where's ye captain? We tracked you landlubbers on our GPS and we're takin' over this here ship!" And it continues like this....


Cargo Ship Captain: Are you serious? You're pirates?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Yes we be pirates, now hand over your doubloons.

Cargo Ship Captain: Our what?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Your doubloons. The gold, uh....

Cargo Ship Captain: Like, change? You need some change?

Johnny Depp Pirate: YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN JUST HAND IT OVER!

Cargo Ship Captain: Well, I think I've got some on me..let me see....here's a nickel...

Johnny Depp Pirate: THAT'S IT, we're takin over this ship!!! And all of yous, you're walkin' the plank.

Cargo Ship Captain: We don't have a plank.

Johnny Depp Pirate: ....(aside) Hey, Carl, did you bring the portable plank.

Carl: Aye captain!

Cargo Ship Captain: Listen, so glad you stopped by, but I've got this shipment that's due on Tuesday...sooooo.....HEY! Is that a real parrot?

Johnny Depp Pirate: Yeah, we got him at the street fair in Muqdisho.

Cargo Ship Captain: Nice touch.

Johnny Depp Pirate: Thanks, it brings credibility, don't you think? Hey do you guys have wi-fi?

Cargo Ship Captain: Out here, are you crazy?

BOTH LAUGHING

Johnny Depp Pirate: (laughing) Well...I guess we'll be going. Sorry about the plank thing.

Cargo Ship Captain: Ah, it's ok. Wow, real pirates. This has been a TREAT!

Johnny Depp Pirate: Don't mention it matey.

Cargo Ship Captain: Matey. Ha, now that's something you don't hear every day.

--AND SCENE--


Seriously...pirates? Someone had to have gotten this on their iPhone.

Yes, a tampax IS absorbent.

Dogs rule. Cats drool.

That's my way of saying, what the hell is wrong with cats?

As my friends are galavanting in Vegas and winning tons of money that they will bequeath to me someday, I get the pleasure of sifting through cat shit and attending to daily feedings.

So, we all know cats are evil, right? Deep down they hate us? They spend days mastering Suduko and when we're cleaning their litter boxes they're thinking, "yeah bitch, you DO that!" So one cat is enough....two cats is just asking for villainous bi-plotting. Yes, a new word – right there.

Here's how today's story starts. I wake up and stumble over to the door that keeps them in the basement for the night. I ordinarily open the door and walk away. However, today would not be one of those days. A sea of white caught my eye. Upon further observation, I see what appears to be a peppering of toilet paper or maybe cotton balls. I make it down the stairs for an even CLOSER look and see that what the little guys got into was my box of Tampax. Yes, the entire box. How they thought it was fun, I have no idea? Maybe they pulled one out and thought, "Oooh a string, it's a toy!"

It gets even more disturbing. I walk into the bathroom to retrieve the waste basket so I can clean up their mess and in the toilet are some other tampons from their midnight playtime. I'm certain that I stood there for a good 10 seconds wondering how in the hell this had happened? Did one cat open the box and the read, "Hey, they're super absorbent...let's go see!"????? How did they manage to get in the box, open the tampons and then proceed to drop them in the toilet? I think they read, "DO NOT FLUSH" and thought oh yeah, you don't tell us cats what to do!!!! Plus, they're male cats...what the hell do they know about tampons?

I'm not one to support bathroom cams, but this would have been a good time for one. Pure evil, good readers, and maybe a little gay.

 = brand loyalty

Brand loyalty is a smart thing to build into your business. I had a 2-month old Mac laptop that I loved. It was everything I wanted in a laptop. It was fast and shiny. But it had ONE flaw. A jacked up jack.

Here's the scenario. I'm at my favorite coffee joint. It's quiet. I'm engrossed in my work. My headphones are on and I'm listening to a peaceful yet spirited classical number by Bach. I tend to crank the decibels, because I fully intend to keep the listening to myself. That's sorta the idea with headphones. That is until my laptop thinks otherwise. A short in the headphone jack made it so everyone could hear my awesome tunes. Yes, Bach can be awesome. As the intellectuals peered up from their books of fiction and glared at me with intense dismay, I hurriedly reached for the mute button. Now, imagine that happening a few more times in the same place with the same loyal patrons. Yeah...they love me there now.

Well, my coffee clutching friends will be happy to know that  quickly remedied the situation today. When I brought my laptop in, did they ask me a ton of questions of what I may have done to it? No. Did they ask me to leave it with them to send off for repair? No. Did they offer me a corporate job working on  creative? No. But what they did do was pretty awesome. The guy said. "How about we give you new laptop?" Sounds good to me!

They migrated all the stuff on my old laptop to my new fast and shiny laptop and all is well. PLUS, they gave me a gift card for my trouble.

Now that is customer service. And that, my friends, is !

Brand loyal? Fuck yeah I am.

So, please...a moment of silence for the old laptop. May it rest in refurbished rack peace.

Sharon

Hemming and Ha-ha-haing

I often peruse on-line stores to see what I can't buy, and this past week I was looking at some jeans on some retailer's site, and I found myself zooming in, in horror.

Perfectly good jeans – pinch-rolled!

Why, God? Why?

There are looks from many decades past that make one think, sure, we can do that again...can't hurt. But this one? Really? That look is as appealing to me as owning "hammer" pants in a variety of designs and colors. As appealing to me as 1980's mesh half shirts. The fact is this. It's ugly.

I think about how this look became part of popular culture. A flood threatened a mid-west community in the late 1980's and, forced to sand-bag his property, Jeff ran out of the house without anytime to change into his Bermudas and thought..."Well, the only way I'm gonna get these here pants to stay on up and not get wet is if I roll them up in this fashion." Happy with his pants invention he hit the local pub that evening fashioning his dry trousers. It was all the rage and before you knew it, idiot high schoolers, (like myself) thought, "Oh, well everyone else is doing this...."

Audrey Hepburn's black sheath? Good. The modified flare from the 70's? Good for a bit. The 1950's full skirt party dress. Me likes.

But pinch-rolling your jeans? Excuse me while I go and apologize to my jeans for the inhumanity. I didn't care for 1989 the first time...so stop it already.

Leave your hems where they belong. By your heels where they can get nice and wet.

And it begins...

As a writer, it's just common sense that I have a blog. So, here it is.

Like really smart writing that dives deep into the psyche of human thought and emotion? Then you won't like this blog.

Stay tuned for more.


Sharon